Hello everybody 👋
I used to believe that our identities created our actions, but now I see that it’s our actions that create our identities.
It’s simple…
Some argue it’s too simple.
But it’s not easy.
Cos anything worth having in life doesn’t come easy.
I love doing 1 to 1’s
It's unquestionably the most impactful experience for the client, and I always gain new insights.
It's stuff I kinda knew already
But hadn’t quite joined the dots yet.
We are constantly evolving, seeing and feeling things we didn’t see before.
This is the reality of multipotentiality.
We’re not human beings; we’re human becomings, as the existentialists said.
One of my long-term clients is possibly the most determined person I have worked with in the last 30 years.
But recently, she got stuck over one thing.
This thing created fear and anxiety.
Her emotional management system avoided the stress and anxiety by procrastinating.
When we procrastinate over one thing, it tends to overspill into other things.
And she quickly found herself stuck.
She had become a procrastinator, or at least this is the story she told herself.
Once we believe we are procrastinators, we do what procrastinators do: we procrastinate more.
This reinforces the identity of being a procrastinator.
Our actions —or lack thereof — create our identities.
We reinforce this behaviour until we become chronic procrastinators.
This is the process:
👉 We face a challenge/ problem
👉 We have too many options, we get overwhelmed by the paradox of choice, which creates uncertainty
👉 Uncertainty creates stress and anxiety
👉 Procrastination is our emotional mgmt system avoiding stress and anxiety
👉 This becomes our identity
👉 We procrastinate more, thus reinforcing the identity
We’ve all been here before!
My client's identity quickly swung from someone who took action to someone who procrastinated.
I have always suspected that our identities as multipotentialites are brittle and fragile.
This is largely because we have so many identities as human becomings.
The good news is it works both ways.
To solve her issue, we created a plan for her to do the thing that was causing her procrastination.
This unblocked the client. She went back to experimenting and taking action, and her identity changed accordingly.
And she returned to her productive self.
This is the process:
👉 We face a challenge/ problem
👉 We have too many options, so we experiment
👉 Experimenting provides clarity
👉 Clarity provides dopamine
👉 Dopamine creates the motivation to take more action
👉 And we have the momentum to face more challenges successfully
Our actions create our identities.
It’s a simple but effective insight.
Newtons Law Of Motion
The first law of motion: Objects in motion tend to stay in motion, and objects at rest tend to stay at rest.
This is it in a nutshell.
➡️ We are creators.
Or
➡️ We are consumers.
➡️ We are experimenters
Or
➡️ We are procrastinators
➡️ We make decisions and move forward
Or
➡️ We avoid decisions and remain stuck
But there are caveats to this. We have to be interested and passionate in what we’re doing.
We have interest-based nervous systems.
➡️ It’s easier for me to take action on writing because I enjoy it, and it allows me to process my emotions.
➡️ It’s easier for me to take action on creating videos because I enjoy it, and it helps me concisely articulate my thoughts.
➡️ It’s easier for me to experiment with creative projects and business ideas because I am getting dopamine from my curiosity.
We all struggle to do our taxes.
We all struggle with the mundane.
I still haven’t set up an email address for Niche Creator in my inbox. Michael has to forward emails to me.
I’ve tried.
It’s embarrassing.
However, I have limited energy, so I focus it on my strengths and avoid wasting it on things that don’t interest me.
Tedious, mundane tasks are a huge struggle, and energy sucks for me.
So don’t beat yourselves up for this.
Focus on your strengths, focus on the tasks that light you up, and follow your curiosity…it is a huge source of healthy dopamine.
Force yourself to do the tasks you hate but will get you into shit, i.e. taxes.
Create more.
Consume less
And don’t sweat the small stuff!
But in the end, the course of our lives comes down to this solitary action that will create our identities — and shape our creative destinies. 👇
➡️ Are we people who make decisions and experiment?
➡️ Or are we people who avoid making decisions and procrastinate?
It’s a simple question but a fucking difficult answer…
It’s good to be back, see you in a fortnight.
Peace out 🙏
great reminder on the importance of taking small steps and experimenting to break through uncertainty
I can’t imagine procrastinating on taxes.. 🙈